My apartment was hot this morning, and although I was conscious around 8:15, I didn't get out of bed until 9. But when I opened both my windows there was the most beautiful cross-breeze. Ahhh, simple pleasures - also the sun is SHINING. Plus, I have an excuse not to exercise today because I'm running a 5K tomorrow morning. I enjoy exercise and I sort of want to go to yoga today - but my body is tired! I will probably do a fair share of walking today though.

I've been in a bit of a depressed rut during my 9 weeks of unemployment (like pain scale of 1-10, a few times was an 8). It's been a really hard time. In yoga yesterday we were talking about our root chakra and our sense of home. I think my old job and the people there were a big part of my sense of home. Speaking of home - I need to get my house in order, literally. I have been in my apartment for a year now and I don't have anything hanging on the walls and my furniture is sparse. This is not okay! It is also giving me this sense of failure that I can't get my shit together. I need to be nicer to myself - I have been busy with change and new experience. Not to mention that I grew up in a messy house, so I don't really have the training to keep a nice place. Another aspect of my life that was starting to feel like "home" was my boyfriend. That isn't going so well right now either. I am getting along pretty well with my family. I suppose my Dad's sickness has also disturbed my sense of home. Yikes, this root chakra is bringing up quite a bit.

So I was a bit depressed this morning. I didn't eat dinner last night after I had done a practice 5K (I want to take better care of myself in the future). I just ate some chocolate froyo, a peach, and a banana. So I woke up hungry, parched, and hot. I pretty much always wake up parched and my apartment was pretty hot last night as it was in the 80s outside as soon as I opened my windows it cooled down and I will eat some toast with peanut butter now. I would say the pain this morning was 7/10. Two solutions: make better decisions so that I won't wake up depressed including not going to bed hungry. I do this at my boyfriend's house too. Going to bed hungry is a bad idea. Another thing: get better at coping with the pain of depression. As soon as I move forward I feel better. Even turning on the radio near my bed makes me feel better.

When I was a little kid (like elementary school age) I would stop moving in the morning - I wasn't a morning person and I would sit around and my Mom would tell me to "keep moving". The not being a morning person has been part of me for most of my life. I'm starting a new job where I will be waking up early (and I even want to try to wake up very early and go swimming before work - this way I will get my work-out out of the way and I will also have an easier commute because I will go to the gym by my work which is a freeway commute away). I'm excited about my new regimented life and it will be a very good salary. I still have to think of my long-term career plan and also my life plan. My new job also provides excellent health insurance so I'm going to start seeing a therapist once a week for six months.