I am happy with my new job. What I like about it is the lifestyle. I don't actually like what I am doing during my work time, but I like that I care about it enough to take care of myself so I can be reasonably functional during that time. It's also making my life more balanced than it was during unemployment. I didn't love free time when I was unemployed. It was burdensome.
Furthermore, there are lots of benefits that my company offers that I would have to put my financial goals aside to otherwise afford right now. The one I am really into is the mental health offer. I have some research to do to determine how much therapy will cost me with my health insurance. It may not be something that I want to spend money on at this time. There are a few health insurance options and I think some may be free and some cost money, so I have to figure out what I want. I did promise myself 6 months of weekly therapy, so I should probably stick to that. However, I have found some decent self help books so maybe that can be something I do in lieu of therapy. There's no guarantee I will find a therapist I like.
Even if I don't go through with the six months of therapy, I will definitely look into an employee mental health wellness benefit where you get six visits with a counselor for free - it has nothing to do with health insurance.
Anyways, I originally wanted this post to be about what I want to say to my therapist.
This weekend when I spent my precious time with my boyfriend (time is sort of precious to begin with and it's extra precious when it's time spent with both of us together) I acted a bit like a crazy person. I was creating drama for no reason and acting like a sex maniac. I think I have a healthy sex drive and I think David does too. Sometimes he's more into it than other times. It hurts my feelings when he's not that into it. I'm not sure if that's reasonable or not. I want him to be honest, and I recognize that he's not always going to be super into it. Hmmm.. I guess I have mixed feelings about this one. I didn't have this problem with my three other boyfriends that I dated for similar durations. I guess my only conclusion is that I shouldn't bring it up unless I have a solution. If this is how he is, this is how he is and I can take it or leave it. That's what dating is to me (and also many, many other things) deciding what you are willing to take or leave.
So we had sex and he was less into it than he had been at other times, but it was fine. He thinks he has a problem with taking too long to come - and he did not have that problem. Maybe, that's good for him, because apparently he doesn't like sex that much except for coming. He thinks there's something wrong with his penis and he is very mad at his parents for circumcising him.
(will be continued)
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