Your Skin Makes Me Cry

Okay, cheesy emo Radiohead quote.

So I guess this post is about my boyfriend. I really miss him, but I don't want to be clingy. It wouldn't even feel freeing, expressive, and honest to be clingy right now (as it sometimes does). I want to use this feeling to motivate myself to be my best version of myself. Is it bad to be motivated by external factors? I'm going to say "no" as long as you feel good about it. I feel good about being motivated to be better, as long as I'm not working so hard at it that I am suffering. It's good if he motivates me to be cuter or take care of my apartment, because those are things I want too, right? I'm not sure. There is the philosophy that you should feel like your boyfriend likes you for who you are. He very well could, but I'm so insecure I don't think I'm good enough.

Once again it come back to me. I don't think I'm good enough.

On another note. He is a bit self-absorbed. I'm just noticing that he mostly thinks about his job and his possible ADD. He is having trouble concentrating and thinks he might have ADD.

Anyways, the sky looks freakin amazing and it's warm :)

(add on at 7:45 pm) I just got off the phone with him and I was telling him about my new job. It's sort of making my skin crawl. I can feel him judging me. I know that there is no way for me to KNOW that he is judging me. I can't read his mind. Also, I feel this way lots - from lots of people. Once again - this is a problem with me.